Tirade Tuesday: Automate THIS!



How long has it been since you called a company, whether it be a Doctor’s office, Government assistance, Utilities, etc. and an actual person answered the phone?. I cannot tell you how many times I’ve picked up the phone to ask a general, easy question and it has taken me over an hour to speak to a real person. In some cases, “speaking to a live representative” is simply not an option, no matter how you go about it.

It’s annoying. No. It’s infuriating. My question does not magically always match your “press this” options. Then, I’m totally screwed. Ugh. I’m a person. I want to speak to a person. Not an automated service system. What’s more, if I was a betting person, I would guess 100% of people feel the same way.

Companies, did you hear that? 100%!!! Do you want more business? Do something no one does anymore and answer the phone. Then advertise that you answerĀ the phone.

I’m buying from you!!

I’m not saying companies should have a person available 24/7 (although that would certainly be nice). But a living, breathing, human being should at least answer the damn phone during office hours.

Initially, it seemed like a good idea. “Information at our fingertips”. And for companies, it was a no-brainer. Fewer bodies in chairs, less payroll, more profit.

Win/win? NO.

Almost immediately, the consumer did not like the automated phone service. Still, pushing ease and convenience (ie. higher profits), companies persevered. So did we. We quickly learned a “work around”. We could either press zero, or repeatedly say, “customer service representative” and voila! A person picked up the phone!

Ahhhh, those were the days, huh?

Most companies put the Kabash on that as well! Now when you call, you’d better listen carefully “because our options have changed”. It has truly gotten so bad, you can press numbers for 10 minutes, to sit on hold for 45 minutes and that automated bitch finally chimes in with, “call volume is higher than usual – please try your call again later.”

I hate that automated phone bitch. She’s lucky I cannot reach through the phone and go for her automated jugular.

End of tirade.

Talk to you again soon! xoxo



My Blog 2/11/14 – Tirade Tuesday!



When I started this blog less than a month ago, I said I would reveal myself bit by bit. A blog, to me, is not unlike writing in a diary that the entire world can read. So I proceed cautiously as I begin to peel back the layers of myself. What lurks behind my blue eyes? The short answer is LOTS. My thoughts and my attention span leap from subject to subject without pause. When my husband gets home from work, I talk to him as I happily bounce my way through my brain, commenting on anything and everything I’m thinking about. Then it happens. His eyes literally glaze over and he lovingly says to me, “Honey, I love you. But you lost me after the first sentence and I have no idea what you are talking about”.

I used to be offended. I mean, clearly, he’s not listening to me.

That is, until I realized he was 100% correct! I started paying attention to how my conversations seem to flow from one subject to another for no other reason than they are linked in my brain that way. No wonder the poor fella gets confused…he loves me anyway, deeply. So, on a daily basis, he gives it all he’s got, to listen to my day’s events and everything I thought and said throughout the day. I am someone who has too much information in my head that I want need to share. So, round about 5:45pm, he comes home to two very excited dogs who have missed him as much as I have, and me. He’s such a great sport about it though, truly.

Why do I not chat with my girlfriends instead you might ask? I am in what is a ridiculous predicament. I live in the USA, but I am considered a foreigner where I live because English is my first language. Miami, Florida…ah, there is like no city in this country like it. What is great about Miami is the same thing that sucks about Miami: multi-cultural flair. I get poked fun at by locals who love telling me there are more of “them” here than “me”. I am using “their” exact words. Not speaking spanish is a huge handicap in Miami. It’s not that you cannot survive without it, but it is impossible to make real, close friends because of the language and culture barrier. So while I have many local acquaintances, after a year in Miami, I still have no close friends.

And, make no mistake, I am NOT going to learn to speak Spanish. Not just “No”, but “Hell No”!

The last time I checked, Miami is in the United States of America. We speak English in this country. Period. So my dilemma continues…In the interest of 1) not revealing too much to soon and 2) keeping this blog from turning into a novel, I’m going to stop here. But the language barrier, I have no doubt, will creep into further blogs down the road.

Tirade complete. Enjoy your evening.